Strengthening Our Forever Families

BY: Calorine Faulkner

According to the Bible Dictionary, the home is the second most sacred type of building on Earth. It is the only type of building that compares to the temple in sacredness. The two most sacred types of buildings on this Earth are temples and homes. Why is that? What makes them similar?

Well. They are both places of learning and refuge. We go to the temple and to our homes for peace. The ideal home is a place where we can feel the spirit, where we can feel the love of our Father in Heaven and where we can gain strength to fight in the battle against Satan going on outside. We try to make our homes places where we are less vulnerable to temptation. We try to keep Satan's influence from coming in.

How can we make our homes the sacred places that they are designed to be? What does that environment look like? I think of my favorite primary song “Love is Spoken Here” and the lyrics “I can often feel the Savior near when love is spoken here.”

When we truly love like Christ does, we have charity. Moroni 7:45 and 48 read

“ And charity suffereth long, and is kind, envieth not, and is not puffed up, seeketh not her own, is not easily, thinketh no evil, and rejoiceth not in iniquity but rejoiceth in the truth, beareth all things, believeth all things, hopeth all things, endureth all things. Wherefore, my beloved brethren pray unto the Father with all the energy of heart, that ye may be filled with this love, which he hath bestowed upon all who are true followers of his Son, Jesus Christ; that ye may become the sons of God; that when he shall appear we shall be like him, for we shall see him as he is; that we may have this hope; that we may be purified even as he is pure. Amen.”

  

Charity is hard. It takes a lifetime to develop, and of course we should have charity for all people. Still, I think that our homes are the most important places to show charity. Because our homes and the relationships that we develop in them are so sacred, we need to take great care to respect and protect them.

The Family: A Proclamation to the World states:

“Happiness in family life is most likely to be achieved when founded upon the teachings of the Lord Jesus Christ. Successful marriages and families are established and maintained on principles of faith, prayer, repentance, forgiveness, respect, love, compassion, work, and wholesome recreational activities.”

This is not to say that homes that are not centered on Christ experience no happiness and are not sacred places. But the happiness that we find in our homes comes only through the influence of Christ and His atonement. We feel it when we yield to the light of Christ and make sacrifices for others, forgive others, and emulate Him through righteous behavior. We can increase it by centering our lives on faith in Christ and following correct principles. By making covenants and living in such a way that we are entitled to the peace and security that the spirit brings all the time.

In his talk “The Merciful ObtainMercy” in April 2012 President Uchtdorf said:

“ We all depend on the Savior; none of us can be saved without Him. Christ’s Atonement is infinite and eternal. Forgiveness for our sins comes with conditions. We must repent, and we must be willing to forgive others. Jesus taught: “Forgive one another; for he that forgiveth not … [stands] condemned before the Lord; for there remaineth in him the greater sin” and “Blessed are the merciful: for they shall obtain mercy.”

“Of course, these words seem perfectly reasonable—when applied to someone else. We can so clearly and easily see the harmful results that come when others judge and hold grudges. And we certainly don’t like it when people judge us.

“But when it comes to our own prejudices and grievances, we too often justify our anger as righteous and our judgment as reliable and only appropriate. Though we cannot look into another’s heart, we assume that we know a bad motive or even a bad person when we see one. We make exceptions when it comes to our own bitterness because we feel that, in our case, we have all the information we need to hold someone else in contempt.”

We can apply the atonement in our homes and invite the influence of Christ by forgiving and repenting, by showing mercy and not judging. To do that we have to remember that the spiritual climate of our home and the eternal relationships that we need strive to have in our families are sacred things that need to be valued above our own pride and our secondary desires.

We have to earnestly seek to make things right when we wrong others and we need to be quick to forgive so that we can maintain love in our families. This way, we can ensure trust and love between family members and refuse to let our own past mistakes or the mistakes of or the mistakes of others come between us. We can build a spiritual climate that will allow us to feel the light of Christ's love.

President Uchtdorf continued in his talk:

Forgiving ourselves and others is not easy. In fact, for most of us it requires a major change in our attitude and way of thinking—even a change of heart. But there is good news. This “mighty change” of heart is exactly what the gospel of Jesus Christ is designed to bring into our lives. 

How is it done? Through the love of God.

When our hearts are filled with the love of God, something good and pure happens to us. We “keep his commandments: and his commandments are not grievous. For whatsoever is born of God overcometh the world.”

The more we allow the love of God to govern our minds and emotions—the more we allow our love for our Heavenly Father to swell within our hearts—the easier it is to love others with the pure love of Christ. As we open our hearts to the glowing dawn of the love of God, the darkness and cold of animosity and envy will eventually fade.

As always, Christ is our exemplar. In His teachings as in His life, He showed us the way. He forgave the wicked, the vulgar, and those who sought to hurt and to do Him harm.”

Contention and anger drive away the holy spirit and keep our homes from being the safe havens that they ought to be. Christ demands that we do away with contention in 3rd Nephi 11:29-30.

 “For verily, verily I say unto you, he that hath the spirit of contention is not of me, but is of the devil, who is the father of contention, and he stirreth up the hearts of men to contend with anger, one with another.

 Behold, this is not my doctrine, to stir up the hearts of men with anger, one against another; but this is my doctrine, that such things should be done away.”

David O. McKay said “I have but one thought in my heart for the young folk of the Church and that is that they be happy. I know of no other place than home where more happiness can be found in this life. It is possible to make home a bit of heaven; indeed, I picture heaven to be a continuation of the ideal home.”

One of my goals in this life is to make my home like the temple, or like Heaven so that when my family returns to God’s presence we will feel comfortable there because the atmosphere of love, reverence and peace will be familiar to them. This is not something that we accomplish overnight. As president Uchtdorf says, we need to have a mighty change of heart. We also need to change our habits.

The Preach My Gospel Manual says about Charity:

“As you strive to do righteous works, your love for all people will increase, especially those among whom you labor. You will come to feel a sincere concern for the eternal welfare and happiness of other people. You will see them as children of God with the potential of becoming like our Heavenly Father, and you will labor in their behalf. You will avoid negative feelings such as anger, envy, lust, or covetousness. You will avoid judging others, criticizing them, or saying negative things about them. You will try to understand them and their points of view. You will be patient with them and try to help them when they are struggling or discouraged. Charity, like faith, leads to action. You will develop charity as you look for opportunities to serve others and give of yourself.”

We can emulate Christ by showing charity. He will help us do this in our homes. As we build these habits and truly value our families and our homes, this becomes easier and our homes become places that truly give us courage and strength to stand up against the forces of temptation and win.

Righteous parents who build covenant centered homes have power to instill Christ centered values and teach correct principles. I know that our homes can be places of refuge where positive values are taught and where we can gain strength to fight Satan.

We see wonderful examples in the Book of Mormon. In Helaman chapter 5, Helaman prepares his sons to live righteously and center their lives in Christ. He teaches them:

“12 And now, my sons, remember, remember that it is upon the rock of our Redeemer, who is Christ, the Son of God, that ye must build your foundation; that when the devil shall send forth his mighty winds, yea, his shafts in the whirlwind, yea, when all his hail and his mighty storm shall beat upon you, it shall have no power over you to drag you down to the gulf of misery and endless wo, because of the rock upon which ye are built, which is a sure foundation, a foundation whereon if men build they cannot fall.

14 And they did remember his words; and therefore they went forth, keeping the commandments of God, to teach the word of God among all the people of Nephi.”

In Alma 56, We read the about the parents of the Army of Helaman. In verses 47-48 we read:

“Now they never had fought, yet they did not fear death; and they did think more upon the liberty of their

fathers than they did upon their lives; yea, they had been taught by their mothers, that if they did not doubt, God would deliver them.

And they rehearsed unto me the words of their Mothers saying: We do not doubt our mothers knew it.”

Righteous parents who teach correct principles truly give power and strength to their children. They can guide their children as they found their lives in faith in Christ. Christ loves us. HE wants to help us become like Him. Your example and words have influence. A righteous home makes a difference.

It takes courage and faith to teach and build Christ-centered families. I know that we are all trying to invite the Savior's light into our lives, and that because of that, He is blessing us. He is helping us not to walk in darkness but to be guided by His light.